Whatcha say?

At the moment, i am happy. I have my friends, my family, and everyone i love.. i do not have to meet expectations of others because they can no longer take hold of my life...

To "me and you" who posted something on my cbox, i'm not a loser.. and i do not always cry. It's just that the time i have the time to blog are the times that i have problems.. but i have more time smiling than crying, fyi. My life is not a mess. You're mean to have said that. You do not know me.

Anyway, enough about that. Its December tomorrow. Christmas is comiiiiing and i am excited. But i am kinda sad that i will have no money anymore because i have to buy TONS of gifts for my friends and family. However, i don't care for i know that this is for them.. I love them.

This blog is disorganized again because so many thoughts are rushing on my mind now. Obviously, i had the thought and time to write this blog. hahaha. i am just happy and contented and i hope nobody and nothing will ruin it for me. :))))))

i can't cry now because someone will see. i can't let my mom see what i am going through right now because i know i would have to explain it to her and i also know that right there and then, i will burst into tears. i can't keep it in much longer and i'm hoping that writing this blog will make me feel a little better...

i am hurt. i am so hurt and i don't know what to do.
i wanna explode. i wanna cry and scream because i feel miserable and betrayed. i never thought a time like this would happen and since it did, i feel like hell. i don't deserve to feel this because i know i did nothing wrong. i should not be blamed for what happened. i never even thought about him having somebody else.. i had "feelings" but i hoped those were just feelings. i never wished for them to turn into reality.

how could he do this to me. i was a person doing everything just to see him happy. i wanted to see him happy because he makes me so happy, too.. i love him and i know he loves me. for a long time, i have been raising and raising my limits. but now, it has gone waaaaay above and i can't keep up with it no more. everytime i see him, my heart beats fast: i know i love him but i have to love myself, too.. i have loved him so dearly and i don't know why he had the thought of doing that to me.

i wanna scream.
i wanna cry.
i wanna shout.
i wanna lie on the sand beside the beach and just relax...
i wanna get away.
i want to be happy again.

grabe. daw ma gaga na ko ya. san'o ka pa mauntat man? abi ko gani okay na tanan, te ngaa permi lang ko ya may gakakit'an? ma promise2x ka ky gahibi nako pero after pila ka days, liwat na naman? ano lang tu ya sa imu ang pagmaoy ko? daw wala lang? ano abi mo man, kay nagsorry ka dason gnforgive ta na ka, wala na tu dason? sakit man tu bala gyapun. kung gahibi ko, sakit gid na ya tuod. tani indi mo man pag e'balewala. kay ga sulit2x na lang ni ya. kapoi2x na bala. kag siya na lang gid ya permi ang rason. amu gid na siya ka importante sa imu nga indi mo gid kaya indi magsturya sa iya? gin pangbayaan ko gani mga special man nga tao sa akon kay nasakitan ka, dason ikaw ya indi mo gid ma kaya? indi pa man kamu gani amu na ka dugai nga friends. ano gusto mo man, e'baylo mo ko sa iya? hambali lang ko bala. kay ma gaga na gid ko ya kung ma sige pa gid ni sulit2x. Kabalo gid ko ya nga may time gid na na namian ka sa iya. ngaa man? kay ga biniga siya sa imu? namian ka gid nga bestfriends2x kamu? pano kamu bi nag bestfriends kung wala kamu ga text kag wala man kamu bala gasturya? pero basi butig na naman tu. indi gid ko ya magpati na gapalayo ka. kung gapalayo ka, makahulam pa siya bala sang tshirt mo? maka tupad pa cya bala sa TANAN niyo nga pictures? ngaa indi mo na lang gid siya bi pagsturyahon? indi mo gid na kaya himuon para sakon? indi mo gid pwede dulaon huya mo sa iya para indi nako maghibi? kay grabe na gid ni ya. nasakitan na gid ko. huo, palangga ta gid ka kag indi gid ko gusto nga indi kita. pero indi ko man kaya tanan nga sakit. may maabot gid na ya nga time nga indi ko na gid kaya kag biskan indi ko gusto, buy'an ko na lang gid. sobra na kasakit mu. daw indi naman guro posible nga makaya ko tanan. kabalo ko naghambal ko nga kayaon ko tanan pero sang ginhambal ko tu, gapati man ko sa ginhambal mo nga indi mo na pagliwaton ang ginpang himu mo. naghambal ko nga makaya ko kay wala ko ya ga'expect nga may ubrahon ka pa gid nga magpahibi sakon. te nami ang feeling? sang gahulat2x ko ya sa text mo, daw ma gaga na ko sige tawag biskan wala ka gasabat, sang gahambal ka nga papuli ka na, atu ka tu ya gali tupad sa iya. ga picture2x lang kamu ya. smile2x ka pa. tanga2x sakon noh? pati2x man ko sa tanan mo nga ginahambal. abi ko ya bi nga wala ka na gapamutig sakon. pero haha, joke's on me. kung aga pa ko ya gali magpuli kay nakapoi gid ko kay gaskwela ko, ga upod2x ka ya sa iban nga bae? okay man lang na tani kay friends mo man sila pero ngaa sa iya ka gid ya maupod? nagpromise ka na bala sakon nga indi na kamu na magsturyahanay kay kabalo ka gid nga kontra ko na siya. baw, indi mo gid kaya? sakit2x gid? luoi bah. kabalo pa gid ko na gatext pa kamu. kabalo gid ko na ya. indi mo na pwede itago sakon. ngaa kabalo ko? te kay kung wala ka may ginatago, ngaa bi mahadlok ka gid kada lantaw ko sa phone mo? hadlok ka mabasahan ko mga text ya ai? biskan gm ya lang, mahadlok ka man gyapun kung ako makabasa kay basi ara pangalan mo. kapila na gid na natabo man?

te, maanu ta subong? kay ginkapoi na gid ko. ipapili taka kung ano gid gusto mo ah para indi man sila bala makahambal nga gina priso taka. panumdum mau ha. kapila nako ya bala nagwarning sa imu. pero indi ka gid mag untat. gina sulit2x mo lang. gina balewala mo lang ko. ginahimu ko na gani tanan para sa imu pero daw wala gid pulos ah. wala gid ta ni kadtuan. isa lang gid ni ka chansa ihatag ko kay daw amu na lang gid na kaya ko.

sige ah.

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something
that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later
result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

-facebook
[haha. this is so true.]