Right now, i'm still
hurt. We broke up last November 25, we were together for only 17 days.. Can you imagine that?! He courted me for months and i also waited for months to answer him. When i already did, I was so happy. I told myself that "atlast, kami na." But unfortunately, we ended up as this. Sometimes i think that it would have been better if i didn't answer him. Our relationship before was already good. It became great when we had commitment but it just can't be.. Maybe this isn't our time yet. Or maybe we weren't meant to be. It hurts me to think that everything we had is now lost. We don't even text anymore. Oh, we do but just a few messages, less than 5 maybe. Friends of mine tell me that maybe he wasn't really that serious when we were already together. Boys are like that. They show their best while courting but when they already got the girl, they tend to take them for granted knowing they (girls) won't leave them because they're already inlove. Guys like that are jerks. I hate their kind. I thought he was different. He showed me he was different. But like they said, the only constant thing is change. He changed. and there's nothing i can do about it. Maybe the new environment transformed him into who he is now. Maybe he likes it this way. For so many times, i've been thinking that he doesn't care for me anymore. I realized that if he really did love me, he would have fought for me, for us. For him, there are just some things that are more important. love comes last. Still, it's hard for me to accept it. I really did love him and I still do. Can't we just turn back time? Can't we pretend we have a little bit of Alzheimer's and forget the part where we broke up? and just return to what we were.. please. oh, please. But hey, bright side, i'm single again. I don't wanna have romantic relationships with guys yet. This is too much for me. Why is it that at the time that you think everything's gonna turn out great, you end up with the exact opposite of what you think is gonna happen? Life is unjust. Bad things are happening. I can't think of any good thing that is worth remembering. (except for the pictures of my crushes. hihi.) Am i this bad, Santa? Is this your early Christmas gift for me? I hope not.
posted by maikela at Thursday, November 30, 2006 |